Is a woman's place in the kitchen? In many traditionalist societies, it is expected that a woman's place is in the house after marriage. Which is not only odd but it rules out the aspect of equality between a man and a woman. At the start, a man expects the woman to stay the same as she is before marriage and after marriage. On the other, the woman thinks about changing the man after marriage. This thinking dynamics causes all sorts of issues. The man is unlikely to want to change after marriage. But, invariably, women do change after marriage. The person the man wanted to marry is no longer the person they married anymore. However, an educated woman that decides to take on the role of a housewife after marriage, especially in western society, will feel like she has lost everything in her life. Everything that she aspired to achieve is no longer available to her as an option. Unless, obviously if she aspired to be a housewife, that is another matter altogether. A woman spending eight to ten hours stuck caged in a house while the man is out working is bound to create boredom and frustration. When the man comes home after having spent long ours at work, he will spend it at home or do whatever makes him relax. The woman will want to go out. This is likely to lead to friction in form of nagging, whinging and most of all heated arguments. The woman will feel that the man does not respect or understand her. The man will feel the same way towards the woman. If this continues, bonding between the two never forms and they become distant overtime. The woman might feel having children might solve the issue, but that only adds to the man's financial burdens. In fact, it also leads to health issues especially as not only is the man working long hours but it becomes another shift of work when they come home and have to take the wife out. The woman may even use food as a source of releasing her frustration leading to back and forth dieting. While the husband will spend more time away in the workplace trying to avoid the confrontation. Eventually, the woman stops looking after herself, with low self-esteem, grows less and less attractive for the man. While the man eventually completely avoids interacting with his wife. If we take this dynamics and reverse it a completely different story emerges. If both men and women are working they are starting their relationship at an equal footing. Both men and women have a lot to talk about their day towards the end. They both can give space to each other because they know what it is like working long hours. Both of them are able to build a sense of respect and understanding towards each other and develop a bond. The woman now has a purpose other than sitting at home. And, they both can find valuable time sharing with each other in doing activities outside of work. The woman no longer feels that marriage is the end of everything. In fact, it becomes a beginning of something good and nurturing. They both can share their responsibilities of doing the chores and financially contribute towards bills. Man is no longer the only breadwinner, nor the woman the only homemaker. Married life really only works when we remove the assignment of gender roles between two people who can first start out as friends (respect, understanding, support), then partners (love, trust, consideration) then husband/wife (commitment, responsibility, communication). However, in western society, marriage no longer has any real value nor is it necessary. Invariably, infidelity seems to be considered as an established norm. But, this rarely provides for a meaningful relationship. If the initial foundations of a relationship are weak it will hardly lead to much down the line. And, loyalty usually goes amiss if there is something missing in the relationship that hasn't been resolved from the start which brews into further issues down the line. In west, caring and sympathetic nature towards the other is rarely considered as people tend to be brought up in a selfish individualistic mindset where there is lack of patience and minor arguments can turn into major issues. And, counselling only makes things worse because bringing in a third-party is not only felt as intrusive, it is likely that mediator also has relationship issues of their own. Humans are not perfect nor should we be expected to be in society. Dynamics of society may bring their own environmental issues into the mix. It is how we deal with the ups and downs, as mature individuals, that determine the relative foundations we have in a relationship and whether they can withstand the test of time. In fact, as time goes on the spark that two people had at the start of a relationship may over time change and turn into something completely different which is inevitable. Perhaps, enriched and blossomed with something even better. Or, something that dies away and withers in time. As they say, it takes two to tango and the degree to which two people are willing to go to make it work. Psychology of relationships is an interesting area for modelling artificial intelligence and to decipher the many solutions to dynamic issues. Marriage counselling through artificial intelligence can mean a lucrative solution within the confines of privacy. In fact, why must people visit a human especially as humans are born imperfect which is not only inconvenient but also uncomfortable for many.
