Fake Devops Engineers

• Takes them 1 to 2 months to spin an instance on the cloud when it should take a couple minutes at max (the whole process literally takes a few seconds on most cloud environments), apart from additional time for setting up security groups which should take 2 days or possibly a week.
• Negating everything you say, then using your suggestions as their own
• Taking longer than is normal to provision and setup an environment
• Having excuses for everything when things go wrong
• Playing blame games
• Not provisioning sufficient monitoring and automation services
• Have they ever attended a devops conference?
• They prefer windows to linux environments
• They get frustrated very quickly at the most silly things
• They confuse ops with devops
• They find it difficult understanding that any regular polygon can fit into a square (this is a typical case of being able to understand abstractions which even works at identifying a fake architect)
• Don't understand infrastructure as code
• Don't understand the relationship between development and operations
• Don't understand how to manage and use automation
• Don't understand what small deployments means
• Don't understand what feature switches mean
• Don't understand how to use nor heard of Kanban, Lean and other Agile methods
• Don't understand how to manage builds and operate in a high-velocity environment
• Don't understand how to make sense of automation, tools, and processes
• They don't understand the devops workflow
• They lack empathy
• They don't understand trunk-based development
• They don't understand what a container is used for
• They don't know how to manage an orchestration process
• They don't know how to manage a staging environment
• They don't know what serverless means
• They don't understand difference between microservices and monolith
• They don't understand immutable infrastructure
• They don't know what type of devops specialist they are
• They don't know how to create a one-step build/deploy process
• They don't know how to instil trust and respect
• Not having any favorite devops tools
• Not having any specific devops strategies or best practices
• How do they decide whether something needs to be automated
• They find it difficult to solve issues when things go wrong
• They find it difficult to embrace failure and learn from their mistakes
• They have difficulty in problem-solving in production environments
• They find it difficult to link up tools and technical skills with culture and teamwork
• They have a big ego vs a humble nature when it comes to self-characterization
• Someone that over-compensates on self-promotion but does not acknowledge their deficiencies